Pedro's Log

“We are the race that falls ouside statistic: among colors and ethnic traits, we are transparent. We are the offspring of more or less normal mothers and fathers, we distribute ourselves through the percentages, the usual patterns. We have our shared things, but these are secret among us. How do we know each other? Most of the time we don’t, many times we go unnoticed. How do I know I am one? How do I know I belong to this invisible category, apparently isolated by unexisting borders? I took years to realize it, and now i know that either i’m imbued by this nature, or it is otherwise contained in a well isolated space, somewhere in my body, like and additional organ that can be excised. Interleaved or implanted, this side of mine seems inseparable from existence itself. If I remove it, I remove myself from reality… perhaps because it’s my single point of contact with reality.“

“Let me tell you about God. God is a fat, old and ugly, scruffy little creature. He’s far from being nice, He’s got the worst of humors, and I’m quite sure that Jesus was a failed attempt to fix the failed impression He left in His first contacts with you. You can’t love a God that kills, and accepts humans as sacrifices, not to mention slavery and lots of other nonsense. And the message I carry with me doesn’t prevent me from telling you that something similar to righteousness exists, even if it’s highly relative and prone to misinterpretation, and that concept of “righteousness” transcends Him and his incomprehensible law. Let me tell you that all the prophets have seen through the eyes of hallucination, and all the miracles and revelations were nothing more than products of deranged minds. They wanted to see God, and God gave them what they wanted, not through some special sort of communication channel, but by feeding them with the output of their own desire - that’s the infinite loop that makes you ascent into madness. I say “ascent” because madness is a state of self-sustainability, the highest you can reach as a human. Of course madness itself goes through multiple stages, but nothing can make as much of a human as it. And God is madness itself: he is not far from random, introducing noise in your mathematically perfect systems… poor creatures who keep on trying to look beyond your own existence - you are condemned to die in ignorance, victims of the concept of time that He, Himself invented. Should luck abandon you tomorrow, and He will strike your name from his endless list.“

“Suppose you’re alone, in an empty, white painted room, with a bed place right in the center. It’s not quite a room, since it doesn’t have walls nor ceiling, and you only know the ground exists because you feel it under your feet. You are naked, left to die with only a pencil and a sheet of paper. Each time you wake up, you find that you haven’t got old. At least, you can’t remember having been younger. You possess no recent nor old memories, nothing about your childhood, people you met, nothing at all. You know you’re human, only because your common sense remains intact: you know that a rock is a rock, and that people breathe until they die. Apart from that, it is as if someone erased all your memories of specific situations, places and people. Each day looks as a perfect copy of the previous one. You start counting them, placing marks on the sheet of paper, but, to your amazement, a strange phenomenon happens: some marks just disappear - you remember having placed them, but they are simply not there. Your guess is that you must have dreamed about writing them.”

Face it.

Here’s my new “digital library”, where I’ll start publishing all the written material that I produce.:

http://pedro.strigo.eu/alexandria/

Not a lot of texts so far, since I have a lot of stuff on paper (yes, I have to transcribe it), and unfinished poems as well…

It’s all in portuguese, but I plan to publish some english-written material as well.

The application that is being used for making these texts  available is something that I have done myself: it’s called “Publia”, and it’s still waiting for some free time (and good will) so that I can release it. It’s Python-based, and it supports plain text, HTML and markdown resources.

I’ve already pre-ordered it…